Uncle Raph
by Scotia Daniel
Summary: When Donatello and April plan a night out, they turn to the one angry mutant to play babysitter for then night. Based on the 2012 version of the show.


"Remember, she's very attached to her bottle so if she starts crying give that to her. Most of the time that'll get her to quiet down."

"Are you sure I can handle this?"

"Yes. Also, make sure her milk isn't too hot where it scalds her. But make sure it's not too cold. She's a bit picky about the temperature of her bottle so you might have to experiment with it a bit. I hope you don't mind."

"Maybe I should scald you."

"Raph, please take this seriously. I get you'd much rather be with Leo or Mikey right now but we really need you to do this."

"Why couldn't you get Leo again? Or Mikey? Splinter?"

"Because Splinter isn't comfortable with coming to the surface and there's no way we're keeping the kid in the sewers for a long period of time. And Leo was our choice but we don't want you beating on MIkey during the whole mission. And Mikey would never be able to be responsible enough to keep the kid safe and not have the house be burning down."

Raphael rolled his eyes and looked away from his younger brother, crossing his arms. Donatello ignored the red ninja's behavior and kept reading off his list.

"Also, don't forget to tuck her in with a blanket when you can. It can get chilly here and I don't want her to get sick or anything. Her food is in the cabinets and her toys can be found under-"

"Her crib. I got it, Donnie. I know I'm not babysitter material but I got it. You've read the list to me several times now. I'm not Mikey. You can trust me."

Donatello pinned the list to the fridge and turned back to face his older brother. "I know, Raph. I just want to make sure you don't get too stressed out about this. Babies are a huge responsibility. I know you can handle it, but I just want to make sure you have the easiest time here you can get."

Raphael sighed and felt his temper leave him. "Thanks, Donnie. I just hope I can get this babysitter thing down. Everything will be fine just go out and have fun, okay?"

Donatello placed his hand on the mutant's shoulder and smiled. "Thanks, Raph. We owe ya big time. Call us if there's any trouble or anything or if you need any advice. We're going to eat at Murakami-san's and then head to a costume party. The address to that is here on a sticky note."

"How are you going to survive tonight? You're really going out like yourself? No disguise?"

"Well, April and I figured that, since it's a costume party, people will just think I worked hard on looking like this. If there's anyone that suspects otherwise or anything, we'd leave stat and I'd call to let you know if we're coming home sooner."

April walked in, fixing a hoop earring. She was dressed in gypsy like clothes, her hair down for once. She gave Raph a smile and waltzed up to them, slipping her hand into Donnie's.

"Maggie's napping but she'll probably wake up in an hour hungry. So don't forget to feed her and bathe her after. She can get super messy and I don't want her to go to bed with food in her hair."

Raph saluted her. "Aye, aye, captain."

"Thanks, Raph. We'll be back before one. Feel free to make yourself at home. Get anything on T.V as long as it's not porn and I don't have to pay for it."

"Okay, that's nice, now go and enjoy yourselves!"

Raphael pushed them to the door, opened it and slammed it shut. He rested his back against the door and sighed. It was going to be a long night.

He glanced to the ceiling where the second floor was. He didn't exactly want to be the babysitter. In fact, ever since Donatello and April had had a kid, things had just been kinda weird between him and the couple. He still loved Donnie dearly and considered April a sister, but it was still weird to think that he was an uncle.

When the kid was born, he had spent time around it but never really could fully look at it. He knew it was weird, but Raph was an emotional guy whether he liked it or not. Donatello was his brother before April came along and stole him away. And now he had another anchor that weighed him down.

Raphael sighed and walked into the living room of the house and plopped down onto the couch and turned the T.V on. He prayed that the kid would be good and stay quiet so he didn't have to deal with it.

The ninja blankly watched the images on the screen, not quite tuned into what he was watching. He turned it off and walked to a window. The trees were dark and he could see the lights of the city not too far away.

April and Donatello had moved out to the farm house April's aunt used to own. After having the kid for a year, they decided it wasn't exactly sanitary to raise a child in the sewers and because of what Donnie is, they decided it'd be for the best if they moved into the farmhouse where Donnie could still work on his inventions, practice his martial arts and have access to the sewers. The turtle had worked for months creating a tunnel leading to the house's basement so Raph and the others could visit any time they wanted.

Faint crying broke Raphael out of his thoughts and he stared at the ceiling in horror. "Oh, no..."

Raphael ran to the stares and hesitated. If he left the kid alone, would it shut up on its own? He remembered April's words and sighed. The kid was probably hungry. And he didn't think the couple would be too happy coming home to see their child starving in its crib.

The ninja sucked in some air and sulked up the stairs. The crying became louder and he entered the child's room. It was painted a generic yellow with butterflies and plants everywhere. The crib was pushed to the side and Raphael cringed before approaching it.

Raphael gazed down at the kid. His niece was no older than two years old and already had a full head of dark red hair. Not as orangey as her mother's but still red enough to tell she was definitely April's kid.

The little girl was tiny. Her skin had the pinkish colour of a human but with a green tone. It wasn't horribly noticeable. If a human saw it, they'd probably dismiss it as something else. But she got that from her dad.

Unlike Donatello, she had ears and even a button nose. It was like her dad's bump but with the cute features April had. And her eyes had her dad's red brown and April's blue mixed together. She had four fingers on each hand that were shaped like Donnie's but slender and more human like than her mutant dad's. April often took the child out with her while Donatello stayed at the farm. The child passed human enough to go out in public and he could tell it made Donnie proud but also sad that he couldn't join his family.

Raphael picked up the screaming infant by the shirt and lifted her up, cringing. The toddler sniffled and looked Raphael over with confusion in her big eyes, tears streaming down her face.

"So...you hungry or something?"

As if on cue, the child's stomach growled and Raphael couldn't help but let out a laugh. "I think your Uncle Mikey is shining through ya, kid. Still not sure if that's a compliment or not."

The child blinked and Raphael carried her by her shirt down the stairs and into the kitchen. He placed her on the counter and opened a cabinet to where her food would be. He found bananas, things of apple sauce, cans of soft food and the like.

Raphael took a container of apple sauce with a smile. "This should work. Hey, kid, is this the apple to your eye or do you want to de-cider on something else to eat?"

He turned to see his niece crawl to the edge of the counter and drop. Raphael dove and caught her before she could hit the ground. He held her to his plastron and sighed. The little girl only giggled and clapped her hands. "Again!"

"No, not again. I don't think your parents would be too happy if they came home to a flattened daughter."

He stood up and sighed. With one hand, he cracked open the apple sauce and found a spoon. He scooped up some of the food and offered it to her. The girl looked away. "No."

"No? What do you mean 'no?' Aren't you hungry?"

"Yes."

"So eat the stupid food!"

"No."

Raphael felt his temper rising. "Please eat the food?"

"Pwane!"

So this is what people meant by the terrible twos. He wanted to yell at the kid to eat but he knew that would not solve anything. He sat the kid down in a high chair and brought the food over.

"Okay, fine, we'll do this your way. I can't believe I'm doing this..."

He scooped the food up and made the best plane noise he could make, moving the spoon around like a plane and aimed it at her mouth. The little girl refused it.

"Ah, come on, Maggie! I did the plane thing! Please eat it?"

"No."

"Look, see this? It's tasty. Believe me. Very, very tasty. And it'll make your stomach all warm and fuzzy."

The little girl blinked at him as though she were saying 'you say it's tasty...well, aren't you going to prove it?'

Raphael sighed and frowned. He placed the food into his mouth and swallowed, hiding the disgust in his face. "See? Really...really...tasty..."

To his surprise, the little girl threw back her head and laughed. She slowly clapped with amusement and the mutant smiled. "Ugh, oh! The plane is coming in for a surprise landing! Prepare yourself!"

Raphael made the plane noises and grinning when his niece actually ate the food on the spoon. "That a girl!"

The little girl grinned and they continued the cycle: him taking a bite to make her laugh and feeding the rest to her. By the time she was done eating, Raphael knew he would never eat apple sauce again. He went over to the sink to clean the spoon and placed it in the dish washer. He turned around and felt his smile fall. Maggie had taken what was left of the food in the container and splashed it everywhere. It got on her face, hair, clothes...and she kept splashing in it.

"What the shell, Maggie?"

The little girl looked up, her smile disappearing. Her lip quivered and she began to make hiccuping noises. Tears overflowed her eyes and the kitchen was filled with uncontrollable crying and screaming. Raphael was so glad they didn't have neighbors. He wouldn't know how to handle that. At all.

Raphael immediately regretted his outburst. He frantically looked around for a solution and finally bent down in front of the girl, scared stiff that maybe she wouldn't shut up. And like shell he'd call Donnie and April. He could handle this. Sorta.

"Shh! Maggie! I'm sorry, okay? Please don't cry!"

The little girl's crying dimmed but ceased to stop. He awkwardly picked her up and held her to him and mimicked the movement he had seen April do when Maggie was younger.

"Shh...please don't cry. Please don't cry. I'm sorry, okay? Apple sauce looks good on you. Makes you look gorgeous, even."

Maggie stopped crying, sniffled, and looked up at him confused. Raphael felt his whole body relax and he couldn't help but grin. "Bet your mommy and daddy don't say that to ya, huh? I bet if there was an Apple Sauce Princess out there somewhere, she'd be envious of the way you looked."

Maggie tilted her head with a confused smile. Raphael used a finger to wipe away some sauce from her nose and poked it which earned him a giggle from the toddler.

"And as much as you look gorgeous in apple sauce, I think it's time to make the Clean Princess jealous. What do you think, kiddo?"

The toddler only smiled and rubbed at her face, smearing the apple sauce even more. "I'll take that as a yes."

Raphael left the mess downstairs and walked up the stairs to where the bathroom was. It was on the old side with the bathtub being a piece that didn't connect to the wall or floor. The legs were screwed tightly into the floor and the neck of the shower was bolted into the wall with metal straps.

Raphael turned on the water and clogged the drain. The water filled up fast and he ran his fingers under the water to make sure it wasn't too hot. When it was at a good height, he turned off the water and turned to his niece who had silently been playing with the food on her.

"Ready, twerp?" He picked her up, helped undress her and placed her in the tub. He watched her for a moment and realized he really would have to scrub her down. She was a kid. She wasn't going to do it herself, no matter how much he wished she could. He willed for himself to move but he couldn't.

"How the shell do I wash this thing?"

Maggie splashed at the water and played around with a rubber duck floating around the tub. She made duck noises, unaware of her uncle's anxiety. Raphael rubbed at his temple, trying to figure out the best solution.

He could call Donnie, but his pride wouldn't let him. Did the internet have a solution? He shouldn't leave Maggie unattended...he thought about everything that could go wrong with that and decided to just figure it out on his own.

Raphael took a washcloth from a towel holder on the wall and dunked it into the water. He took Maggie's face into his hands and gently applied the cloth to her small face. The little girl squeezed her eyes shut and tried to forcefully turn her head away. "No!"

"No? What do you mean 'no?' We have to clean you up, Maggie."

Raphael tried again but with the same results. The ninja sighed with all the annoyance he could put into the gesture and crossed his arms. She had gone back to playing with the duck and he smiled.

"Ya know, when your grandpa wanted to wash us when we were younger, he'd wrestle us to make sure we became clean. Aren't you glad Uncle Raphael isn't going to do that to ya? Are you gonna go easy on him now?"

The little girl continued to ignore him and play with the duck. Raphael felt his temple pulse with anger and he heavily sighed to keep himself from getting too hot headed.

"Okay, no more Mr. Nice Turtle. You asked for it, Maggie."

In one swift move, Raphael picked up the little girl into his arms and fell back into the tub. The girl squealed as she was placed in the mutant's lap and he began to wash her from head to toe with the cloth, careful around her eyes and mouth.

The girl giggled and squealed, trying to squirm out of her uncle's grip but her sat her firmly on his leg and wiped away all the apple sauce he could get rid of. He scrubbed it out of her hair and gently rinsed water through it. He even was able to wash the rough of her back where, instead of a shell, the skin was harder and had birth marks that resembled the marks on his and the rest of his brothers' shells.

Raphael leaned back in the tub with a sigh. Cleaning Maggie was probably the hardest thing he had done. And that was saying a lot. He had so much more respect for Donnie and April after that. Cleaning a kid was not easy.

The mutant got out of the tub, drained it and found a small towel to wrap Maggie in. He sat her down while he dried himself and placed it in a hamper with other dirty clothes.

He picked Maggie up and took her to her room. Raphael eyed the white wardrobe and opened it up. It was filled with tons of tiny clothes and he searched until he found the nighties. He chose footsie pajamas with turtles on them with an amused smile. Of course they would have those for her.

Raphael took Maggie over to the changing table set up for the little girl and gently laid her on it. He glanced over at the bag of diapers and felt his smile drop. He completely forgot about those. He had thrown the pair she was wearing before the bath away without really thinking about it. Well, he supposed it could be worse. She could have made a mess instead of just him putting a new diaper on her.

The mutant helped his niece out of the tangles of her blanket and laid her down on the changing table. He took the baby powder available in one hand and the diaper in the next. He held his breath and tried to put it on as fast as he could.

Baby powder went everywhere and it took him three tries to get the diaper on right. When he was done, the little girl yawned and her eyes drooped. Raphael felt a rush of relief.

"Sleepy?"

The little girl nodded. Raphael picked her up and placed her in the crib. He pulled the small blanket over her and almost immediately the toddler turned onto her side, placed her thumb in her mouth and fell instantly asleep.

Raphael tip toed out of the room and down the stairs. He plopped himself down on the couch with a heavy sigh and turned the T.V on. Now that he had done all of that hard work, any program sounded appealing.

Half an hour or so into the show he was watching, Raphael lightly dozed until he was awoken to cries from the upstairs. Raphael turned his attention to the ceiling and felt anxiety overwhelm him.

"Ah, shell. What now?"

He ran up the stairs and found the little girl standing in her crib, holding onto the bars and wailing away. Raphael picked her up and made the bouncing movement he had done before.

"Shh! It's okay, Maggie! It's okay!"

The little girl continued to cry. He tried saying anything and everything to get her to calm down but nothing worked. Raphael searched the room for something he could use but came up empty handed.

Raphael remembered the bottle of milk waiting for her downstairs. Didn't Donnie say something about how milk made babies tired? He couldn't quite remember if that was true or not, but he had to give it a shot.

The ninja walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. He took the bottle of milk set out and offered it to her. The little girl turned her head away and cried harder.

"Why won't you drink it-oh, yeah. I forgot." Raphael placed the bottle in the microwave and let it heat up for a few seconds. He took it out and put a few drops on his hand. Too hot. He wanted to throw the milk at the wall. He couldn't handle all of that crying.

Minutes passed and he tried the milk again. It was nice and warm. He offered it to the little girl who sniffled and took the bottle. She sucked away at it, the tears drying up and Raphael wanted to kiss the silence he missed so much.

Seeing his niece's eyes droop made Raphael want to do the same. He glanced at the clock. Her parents should be back in an hour. He couldn't wait for that.

Raphael took the empty bottle away from the little girl and placed it on the counter. Maggie yawned and he turned to take her back to her room but when he was at the stairs, she lightly hit his plastron. "No!"

"No?"

"No!"

"I'm taking you to your room, Maggie. Calm yourself."

"Don't wanna!"

She lightly patted his chest some more with wide eyes. "I wanna be wif you, Uncle Raph."

He stared at her, not quite believing what he was hearing. "You...what?"

"Be wif you!"

All of his frustration and anger seemed to vanish. She wanted to stick with him. Big, mean Uncle Raph. Not the fun loving Uncle Mikey or responsible Uncle Leo. She wanted to be with him.

"O-okay...but just until you fall asleep. Then it's back to your bed, capiche?"

The little girl nodded her head, her eyes filled with happiness over winning the short lived argument with her uncle.

Raphael took her into the living room and sat on the couch, holding her to him. He tried to pay attention to the T.V but kept yawning. He glanced down at the little girl in his arms to find that she was sleeping peacefully, resting on his plastron. He knew he should take her up to her room, but he had no energy. 'Well, maybe she can stick with me for just a little bit longer...'

It was later than they had expected, but when Donatello and April came in, they expected the home to look as though it had been through a war. But they were pleasantly surprised that nothing seemed trashed and everything seemed like it hadn't suffered from the wrath of Raphael's temper.

"We're home! Sorry we're late."

Donatello walked through the house and turned into the living room. "No one suspected a thing at the party and we ended up getting stuck in traffic on our way back and-oh my god. April, you should come and see this."

"What is it? Oh!" April clasped her hands to her mouth upon entering the living room. Raphael was sleeping on the couch, lightly snoring and drooling. Maggie was sprawled on his chest, one thumb in her mouth and the other holding onto her uncle as she slept.

"Oh, man! This is too precious! Quick, get the camera, Donnie!"

Donatello left his spot and came back a moment later with a digital camera. He snapped a photo of the scene with a huge grin. "Ya know, I think we made the right choice of having Raph try his hand at babysitting.

"I think you're right. I think he should do this more often."

"But let's give him a break. I think this has been the most difficult mission he's ever had."

April snorted and wrapped her arms around Donatello. The mutant slung his arm around her and held her close. "Ya know, let's leave them be for a little while longer. I don't have the heart to split them up just yet."

"I'm fine with that." The couple left, leaving uncle and niece rest peacefully with a new bond that the red ninja had never expected to have with the smallest member of his family.

* * *

**_Author's note: Magdalene's full story can be read here: s/9123148/1/Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-DAD-Edited-rewrite-and-continued-version_**

**_Maggie belongs to Nightowl285 and me._**


End file.
